Why childhood shouldn’t be rushed

The Know & Play Space
Jun 26
4 min read

We live in a world that so often celebrates speed. Doing things faster. Achieving things earlier than others. Onwards, upwards and more, constantly.

Somewhere along the way, this has all crept into childhood too

Children are being asked to sit still earlier, learn formally sooner and demonstrate academic skills at younger and younger ages. Parents are surrounded by content that implies their child should already be doing more, knowing more, achieving more, and that if they aren’t, something needs to be done about it. The pressure is exhausting, for all involved, and what's worse is that it's absolutely everywhere.

The thing is, childhood was never designed to work this way.

What childhood is actually for

Childhood is not a preparation for life. It is life. It's a part of life that is full of wonder, foundations and its own kind of magic.

The early years should not be seen as time to get children ready for school as quickly as possible, but instead, to give them the time and space to build the roots that everything else will grow from. Emotional security. Physical confidence. Language and communication. Curiosity and creativity. A sense of self. A love of learning.

Things like developing a love of learning, emotional security, physical confidence and a natural sense of curiosity and creativity cannot, and shouldn't, be rushed. Its elements of development like these grow slowly, quietly and deeply, through relationships, play, movement, and most importantly, through everyday, ordinary experiences, repeated consistently over time.

Just like an oak tree, the most important growth in childhood often happens beneath the surface, long before it becomes visible to anyone watching, or impressive to anyone who doesn't undestand the journey.

What we lose when we rush children's childhood

When we push children to move through stages before they are developmentally ready, we do not help them get ahead, even if it make look like it on the surface. Instead, they miss out on the foundational experiences they need to thrive and learn effectively longer term.

A child who is pushed to read before their brain and body are ready, may learn the mechanics of decoding, but may also miss out on the crucial skills like tuning into sound and discrimination between sounds that are essential for effective reading development in the future.

A child who spends a lot their early years sitting at a table doing worksheets misses the hours of physical play, sensory exploration and imaginative freedom that their little bodies need in order to have the strength and creativity for life and learning.

A toddler who is constantly redirected away from what they are drawn to, towards what an adult thinks they should be learning, gradually loses trust in their own curiosity - the most powerful learning tool they have.

The strongest roots, the most secure foudations, come from slow, steady, understood and trusted growth.

Think about the oak tree again. An oak does not rush. It does not try to produce leaves before its roots are deep enough to support them. It does not skip seasons or hurry through winter to get to spring more quickly. It grows slowly, steadily, season by season, and because of that, it if often always one of the strongest, longest-living trees.

Children are the same. The child who is given time to play freely, to move their body, to build relationships, to explore and experiment and make sense of the world at their own pace - that child is building the strong, deep, wide-reaching roots that will support everything that comes next for them.

Your child will get where they need to be. They will just do it in their own time, at their own pace, and in their own way. Every child is on the own, unique and wonderful learning journey, and it's important we trust in their inidividual self.

There is a different way to approach childhood

We can approach childhood - raising, working with and guiding children in a way that is rooted not in pressure and comparison, but instead in understanding and trust.

It starts with slowing down enough to actually observe your child. Notice what they are drawn to, what they are working on, and understanding what is happening beneath the surface of their everyday play and behaviour.

It continues with building the kind of knowledge that helps you truly see your child’s development - not as a checklist of milestones to tick off, but as a living, unfolding journey full of meaning, purpose and wonder.

When you understand childhood deeply, the urge to rush it falls away. I've been there. I've been the teacher in the classroom rushing to get through what we're told children should know by a certain age. I've been the mum, worrying over why her child wasn't doing things others were, and wanting to try and get them 'ahead' in other things to try and give them a good starting chance.

But actually, after a lot of unlearning from myself, and a mountain of research, I really truly believe that there is no need to rush, and in fact, there are an incredible amount of reasons why not to.

Less pressure. More understanding. Childhood, one season at a time.

Want to explore further?

If you haven't already, then download your free copy of The First Five Years: Through the Forest & Seasons of Childhood - a gentle field guide to understanding and supporting your child from birth and beyond. It is a beautiful place to begin.